Read Ebook: The Mirror of Literature Amusement and Instruction. Volume 12 No. 326 August 9 1828 by Various

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Ebook has 156 lines and 16936 words, and 4 pages

Leaving the small oratory, a terrace of flowers leads to a Gothic stone-seat at the end, and, returning to the flower-garden, we wind up a narrow path from the more verdant scene, to a small dark path, with fantastic roots shooting from the bank, where a grave-stone appears, on which an hour-glass is carved.

A root-house fronts us, with dark boughs branching over it. Sit down in that old carved chair. If I cannot welcome some illustrious visitors in such consummate verse as Pope, I may, I hope, not without blameless pride, tell you, reader, in this chair have sat some public characters, distinguished by far more noble qualities than "the nobly pensive St. John!" I might add, that this seat has received, among other visiters, Sir Samuel Romilly, Sir George Beaumont, Sir Humphry Davy--poets as well as philosophers, Madame de Stael, Dugald Stewart, and Christopher North, Esq.

Two lines on a small board on this root-house point the application:--

"Dost thou lament the dead, and mourn the loss Of many friends, oh! think upon the cross!"

Over an old tomb-stone, through an arch, at a distance in light beyond, there is a vista to a stone cross, which, in the seventeenth century, would have been idolatrous!

"There lie the village dead, and there too I, When yonder dial points the hour, shall lie. Look round, the distant prospect is display'd, Like life's fair landscape, mark'd with light and shade. Stranger, in peace pursue thy onward road, But ne'er forget thy lone and last abode!"

RETROSPECTIVE GLEANINGS.

PAPER MARKS.

The original manufacturer in this country, John Tate, marked his paper with a star of eight points, within a double circle. The device of John Tate, jun. was a wheel; his paper is remarkably fine and good.

Various other paper marks were in use, adopted most likely at the will or caprice of the manufacturer. Thus we have the unicorn and other non-descript quadrupeds, the bunch of grapes, serpent, and ox'head surmounted by a star, a great favourite; the cross, crown, globe, initials of manufacturers' names; and, at the conclusion of the 17th century and commencement of the last, arms appear in escutcheons with supporters.

"His highness' baker shall not put alum in the bread, or mix rye, oaten, or bean flour with the same, and if detected, he shall be put into the stocks.

"His highness' attendants are not to steal any locks or keys, tables, forms, cupboards, or other furniture of noblemen's or gentlemen's houses, where he goes to visit.

"Master cooks shall not employ such scullions as go about naked, or lie all night on the ground before the kitchen fire.

"No dogs to be kept in the court, but only a few spaniels for the ladies.

"Dinners to be at ten, and suppers at four.

"The officers of his privy chamber shall be loving together, no grudging or grumbling, or talking of the king's pastime.

"The king's barber is enjoined to be cleanly, not to frequent the company of misguided women, for fear of danger to the king's royal person.

"There shall be no romping with the maids on the staircase, by which dishes and other things are often broken!

"The pages shall not interrupt the kitchen maids.

"The grooms shall not steal his highness's straw for bed, sufficient being allowed to them.

"Coal only to be allowed to the king's, queen's, and lady Mary's chambers.

"The brewers not to put any brimstone in the ale.

"Twenty-four loaves a-day for his highness' greyhounds.

"Ordered--that all noblemen and gentlemen at the end of the session of parliament, depart to their several counties, on pain of the royal displeasure."

The following items contain nothing very remarkable, and if they did, perhaps I have copied enough already for a specimen of this ludicrous manuscript.

W. H. H.

Hence it was found necessary for the pages and servants to run about to warm themselves with different diversions before going to bed.

FOUR THIEVES' VINEGAR.

W. H. H.

FISH.

It is related of Queen Aterbates, that she forbade her subjects ever to touch fish, "lest," said she, with calculating forecast, "there should not be enough left to regale their sovereign."

A GENTLEMAN'S FASHION.

C. F E.

CONVEYANCING.

The oldest conveyance of which we have any account, namely, that of the Cave of Macpelah, from the sons of Heth to Abraham, has many unnecessary and redundant words in it. "And the field of Ephron, which was in Macpelah, which was before Manire, the field, and the cave which was therein, and all the trees that were in the field, that were in all the borders round about, were made sure unto Abraham." The parcels in a modern conveyance cannot well be more minutely characterized.

SPIRIT OF THE PUBLIC JOURNALS

THE HUSBAND'S COMPLAINT.

"Will she thy linen wash and hosen darn?"

GAY.

I'm utterly sick of this hateful alliance Which the ladies have form'd with impractical Science! They put out their washing to learn hydrostatics, And give themselves airs for the sake of pneumatics.

They are knowing in muriate, and nitrate, and chlorine, While the stains gather fast on the walls and the flooring-- And the jellies and pickles fall wofully short, With their chemical use of the still and retort.

Our expenses increase, For they keep no accounts, with their tangents and sines-. And to make both ends meet they give little assistance, With their accurate sense of the squares of the distance.

They can name every spot from Peru to El Arish, Except just the bounds of their own native parish; And they study the orbits of Venus and Saturn, While their home is resign'd to the thief and the slattern.

Chronology keeps back the dinner two hours, The smoke-jack stands still while they learn motive powers; Flies and shells swallow up all our every-day gains, And our acres are mortgaged for fossil-remains.

They cease to reflect with their talk of refraction-- They drive us from home by electric attraction-- And I'm sure, since they've bother'd their heads with affinity, I'm repuls'd every hour from my learned divinity.

If we 'scape from our troubles to take a short nap, We awake with a din about limestone and trap; And the fire is extinguished past regeneration, For the women were wrapt in the deep-coal formation.

'Tis an impious thing that the wives of the laymen, Should use Pagan words 'bout a pistil and stamen, Let the heir break his head while they fester a Dahlia, And the babe die of pap as they talk of mammalia.

The first son becomes half a fool in reality, While the mother is watching his large ideality; And the girl roars uncheck'd, quite a moral abortion, For we trust her benevolence, order, and caution.

I sigh for the good times of sewing and spinning, Ere this new tree of knowledge had set them a sinning; The women are mad, and they'll build female colleges,-- So here's to plain English!--a plague on their ologies!

THE EDITOR'S ROOM.

And so, most tasteful and provident public, you are going out of town on Saturday next?--We envy you. Mars is gone, and Sontag is gone, and Pasta is going--and Velluti is out of voice--and they are playing tragedies at the Haymarket--and Vauxhall will never be dry again--and the Funny Club are drenched to their skins every day--and "the sweet shady side of Pall Mall" is a forgotten blessing. You will be dull in the country if this weather continue--but not so dirty as upon the Macadam. So go.

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