Read Ebook: Punch or the London Charivari Volume 153 October 24 1917 by Various

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VOL. 153.

OCTOBER 24, 1917.

CHARIVARIA.

Those who think that people in high positions live a life of ease and comfort received a rude shock last week. It is said that, while visiting the Royal Enfield Works canteen, the Duke of CONNAUGHT drank two glasses of Government ale.

Britons have no monopoly of pluck, it seems. Last week a Basuto soldier attached to a labour battalion offered the LORD MAYOR'S coachman a cigarette.

Two German bankers, formerly of London, have been arrested in New York as dangerous aliens. Neither of them is a member of our Privy Council.

It is understood that the Spanish Government has addressed a note to the Allies explaining that all possible precautions will have been taken against the forthcoming escape of U23.

The PREMIER has received the magnificent gold casket containing the freedom of the City of London conferred on him last April. A momentary excitement was caused by the rumour that the Corporation had thrown off all restraint and filled it with tea.

A Brigadier-General has been fined for shooting game on Sunday in Hampshire. Sir DOUGLAS HAIG, we understand, has generously arranged to close down the War on the first Wednesday in every month, in order that the Higher Command may assist in supplying the hospitals with game.

Seven lunatics have escaped from a South Wales Asylum. It is assumed that they got away by disguising themselves as German prisoners.

It has been decided that Counsel may appear before the High Court dressed as Special Constables. It seems almost certain that this news was withheld from Sir JOHN SIMON until he had definitely consented to join Sir DOUGLAS HAIG'S Staff.

Two million pounds of jam per week, "the greater part strawberry," are being, it is stated, delivered to the Army. Only the fact that the Army Service Corps' labels all happen to be "plum and apple" prevents the stuff being distributed to our brave troops.

Attempts to destroy livestock destined for the Allies are being investigated, says a New York paper. Only a few days ago, it will be remembered, a certain Legation discovered that its seals had been tampered with.

It is announced that the War Office has taken over "the greater part" of the new London County Hall. Our casualties were insignificant.

Extravagant funerals have been condemned by Sir JOHN PAGET at the Law Society Appeal Tribunal, and undertakers are complaining that in consequence many of their best customers have decided to postpone their interment till better times.

"Cats should be brought inside the house during air-raids," says the Feline Defence League. When left on the roof they are liable to be mistaken for aerial torpedoes.

A German prisoner named BOLDT has escaped from Leigh internment camp. It is stated that he would have experienced no additional difficulty in escaping if he had been called by any other name.

"We want no patched-up peace," says Mr. RAMSAY MACDONALD. But if the assaults upon pacifist meetings continue we feel sure there will be some patched-up peacemongers.

Twopenny dinners are the speciality at a Northern munition works' canteen. We have long been used to twopenny meals, but of course much more was charged for them.

There appears to be no truth in the report that a burglar has been fined for infringing the Defence of the Realm Regulations by using an unshaded lantern.

An application is to be made to the LORD CHANCELLOR for a County Court for the Hendon district, though a contemporary remarks that it is doubtful whether there is sufficient work to be done there. But surely this is just the sort of case that could be met by a little judicious advertising.

Parliament is to be asked to pass a vote of thanks to the Naval and Military Forces of the Crown. And it is thought that the latter will reciprocate by thanking Parliament for giving them such a jolly little war.

Much concern has been caused by the announcement that bees are entirely without winter stocks. We have pleasure in recording a gallant but unavailing attempt to remedy the situation on the part of two dear old ladies, who thought the paper said "socks."

PUNCH'S ROLL OF HONOUR.

The line seems to have been seriously disorganised in consequence.

PRATT'S TOURS OF THE FRONT.

THE LAST WORD IN SENSATION.

Don't miss it; you may never see another War.

Come and see Tommy at work and play.

At the conclusion of the Tour patrons will be presented with a Handsome Medal as a souvenir of their exploits.

PRATT'S TOURS OF THE BACK.

Very cheap. Very safe. Headquarters at the historic town of Amiens.

Itinerary includes: Battlefields of the Somme and Ancre, Bapaume, Arras, Vimy Ridge, Ypres, etc. Guides will take parties round the old British Front lines. The German Defence System will be explained by harmless Huns actually taken at those places.

Lantern Lecture by Captain Crump at Thiepval Ch?teau. Recherch? Suppers at Serre Sucrerie.

PRATT'S TOURS OF TRENCHES.

See the real thing. Live it yourself. Dine in a dugout. Drink rum as the Tommy drinks it. See Staff Officers at work .

In case of gas put on the respirator; otherwise breathe out continuously.

Official Photographers in attendance during Christmas week.

If possible visitors will be given the opportunity of witnessing a practice barrage on the Enemy's front line.

Back seats , two guineas. Front seats , sixpence.

PRATT'S BRIEF TOURS FOR BUSY PEOPLE.

Very short. Very moderate terms. Five guineas each tour or three for twelve and a-half. Bring the boy.

Magnificent Switchback Railway up and down the Messines Mine Craters. Spot where Mr. WINSTON CHURCHILL lost his little Homburg hat under fire will be shown.

THE YPRES CARNIVAL.

All the fun of the fair. Souvenirs supplied while you wait.

Pick-a-back rides on the Highland Light Elephantry.

Bedrooms -- Ground floor.............. One guinea. First floor ...... Three guineas. Second floor .. Ten guineas.

PRATT'S "BATTLE" TOUR.

Extraordinary offer. Thrills guaranteed.

Attention is called to the following specially attractive items :--

Visitors are earnestly requested to be in time, as space in the Observation Post is limited and late arrivals cause a great deal of discomfort to all. Ladies are respectfully requested to remove their hats.

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