Read Ebook: The Mirror of Literature Amusement and Instruction. Volume 14 No. 380 July 11 1829 by Various

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Lord Albemarle, when advanced in years, was the lover and protector of Mademoiselle Gaucher. Her name of infancy, and that by which she was more endeared to her admirer, was Lolotte. One evening, as they were walking together, perceiving her eyes fixed on a star, he said to her, "Do not look at it so earnestly, my dear, I cannot give it you!"--Never, says Marmontel, did love express itself more delicately.

Reproach me not, beloved shade! Nor think thy memory less I prize; The smiles that o'er my features play'd, But hid my pangs from vulgar eyes. I acted like the worldling boy, With heart to every feeling vain: I smil'd with all, yet felt no joy; I wept with all, yet felt no pain,

No--though, to veil thoughts of gloom, I seem'd to twine Joy's rosy wreath, 'Twas but as flowerets o'er a tomb. Which only hide the woe beneath. I lose no portion of my woes, Although my tears in secret flow; More green and fresh the verdure grows, Where the cold streams run hid below.

A MODEST ODE TO FORTUNE.

ANACREONTIC.

Come fill the bowl!--one summer's day, Some hearts, that had been wreck'd and sever'd, Again to tempt the liquid way, And join their former mates endeavour'd; But then arose this serious question. Which best to kindred hearts would guide? Water, was Prudence' pure suggestion, But that they thought too cool a tide!

Peace bade them try the milky way, But they were fearful 'twould becalm them; Cried Love, on dews of morning stray,-- They deem'd 'twould from their purpose charm them. Cried Friendship, try the ruby tide,-- They did--each obstacle departs; 'Tis still with wine 'reft hearts will glide Most surely unto kindred hearts.

THE PILGRIM PRINCE.--BALLAD.

At blush of morn, the silver horn Was loudly blown at the castle gate; And, from the wall, the Seneschal Saw there a weary pilgrim wait. "What news--what news, thou stranger bold? Thy looks are rough, thy raiment old! And little does Lady Isabel care To know how want and poverty fare." "Ah let me straight that lady see, For far I come from the North Country!"

"And who art thou, bold wight, I trow, That would to Lady Isabel speak!" "One who, long since shone as a prince, And kiss'd her damask cheek: But oh, my trusty sword has fail'd, The cruel Paynim has prevail'd, My lands are lost, my friends are few, Trifles all, if my lady's true!" "Poor prince! ah when did woman's truth, Outlive the loss of lands and youth!"

THE SKETCH-BOOK.

THE SPLENDID ANNUAL.

With these qualifications I started from my native town on a pedestrian excursion to London; and although I fell into none of those romantic adventures of which I had read at school, I met with more kindness than the world generally gets credit for, and on the fourth day after my departure, having slept soundly, if not magnificently, every night, and eaten with an appetite which my mode of travelling was admirably calculated to stimulate, reached the great metropolis, having preserved of my patrimony, no less a sum than nine shillings and seven pence.

The bells of one of the churches in the city were ringing merrily as I descended the heights of Islington; and were it not that my patronymic Scropps never could, under the most improved system of campanology, be jingled into any thing harmonious, I have no doubt I, like my great predecessor Whittington, might have heard in that peal a prediction of my future exaltation; certain it is I did not; and, wearied with my journey, I took up my lodging for the night at a very humble house near Smithfield, to which I had been kindly recommended by the driver of a return postchaise, of whose liberal offer of the moiety of his bar to town I had availed myself at Barnet.

As it is not my intention to deduce a moral from my progress in the world at this period of my life, I need not here dilate upon the good policy of honesty, or the advantages of temperance and perseverance, by which I worked my way upwards, until after meriting the confidence of an excellent master, I found myself enjoying it fully. To his business I succeeded at his death, having several years before, with his sanction, married a young and deserving woman, about my own age, of whose prudence and skill in household matters I had long had a daily experience.

To be brief, Providence blessed my efforts and increased my means; I became a wholesale dealer in every thing, from barrels of gunpowder down to pickled herrings; in the civic acceptation of the word I was a merchant, amongst the vulgar I am called a dry-salter. I accumulated wealth; with my fortune my family also grew, and one male Scropps, and four female ditto, grace my board at least once in every week.

Behold at length the time arrived!--Guildhall crowded to excess--the hustings thronged--the aldermen retire--they return--their choice is announced to the people--it has fallen upon John Ebenezer Scropps, Esq., Alderman and spectacle maker--a sudden shout is heard--"Scropps for ever!" resounds--the whole assembly seems to vanish from my sight--I come forward--am invested with the chain--I bow--make a speech--tumble over the train of the Recorder, and tread upon the tenderest toe of Mr. Deputy Pod--leave the hall in ecstasy, and drive home to Mrs. Scropps in a state of mind bordering upon insanity.

The days wore on, each one seemed as long as a week, until at length the eighth of November arrived, and then did it seem certain that I should be Lord Mayor--I was sworn in--the civic insignia were delivered to me--I returned them to the proper officers--my chaplain was near me--the esquires of my household were behind me--the thing was done--never shall I forget the tingling sensation I felt in my ear when I was first called "My Lord"--I even doubted if it were addressed to me, and hesitated to answer--but it was so--the reign of splendour had begun, and, after going through the accustomed ceremonies, I got home and retired to bed early, in order to be fresh for the fatigues of the ensuing day.

When I was dressed, I tapped at Mrs. Scropps's door, went in, and asked her if she thought I should do; the dear soul, after settling my point lace frill and putting my bag straight, gave me the sweetest salute imaginable.

"I wish your lordship health and happiness," said she.

"Sally," said I, "your ladyship is an angel;" and so, having kissed each of my daughters, who were in progress of dressing, I descended the stairs, to begin the auspicious day in which I reached the apex of my greatness.--Never shall I forget the bows--the civilities--the congratulations--sheriffs bending before me--the Recorder smiling--the Common Sergeant at my feet--the pageant was intoxicating; and when, after having breakfasted, I stepped into that glazed and gilded house upon wheels, called the state coach, and saw my sword bearer pop himself into one of the boots, with the sword of state in his hand, I was lost in ecstasy, I threw myself back upon the seat of the vehicle with all imaginable dignity, but not without damage, for in the midst of my ease and elegance I snapped off the cut steel hilt of my sword, by accidentally bumping the whole weight of my body right, or rather wrong, directly upon the top of it.

At Westminster, having been presented and received, I desired--I--John Ebenezer Scropps, of Coventry--I desired the Recorder to invite the judges to dine with me--I--who remember when two of the oldest and most innocent of the twelve, came the circuit, trembling at the sight of them, and believing them some extraordinary creatures upon whom all the hair and fur I saw, grew naturally--I, not only to ask these formidable beings to dine with me, but, as if I thought it beneath my dignity to do so in my proper person, deputing a judge of my own to do it for me; I never shall forget their bows in return--Chinese mandarins on a chimney-piece are fools to them.

Up Ludgate Hill we moved--the fog grew thicker and thicker--but then the beautiful women at the windows--those up high could only see my knees and the paste buckles in my shoes; every now and then, I bowed condescendingly to people I had never seen before, in order to show my courtesy and my chain and collar, which I had discovered during the morning shone the better for being shaken.

The days, which before seemed like weeks, were now turned to minutes: scarcely had I swallowed my breakfast before I was in my justice-room; and before I had mittimused half a dozen paupers for beggary, I was called away to luncheon; this barely over, in comes a deputation or a dispatch, and so on till dinner, which was barely ended before supper was announced. We all became enchanted with the Mansion House; my girls grew graceful by the confidence their high station gave them; Maria refused a good offer because her lover chanced to have an ill sounding name; we had all got settled in our rooms, the establishment had begun to know and appreciate us; we had just become in fact easy in our dignity and happy in our position, when lo and behold! the ninth of November came again--the anniversary of my exaltation, the consummation of my downfall.

Again did we go in state to Guildhall, again were we toasted and addressed, again were we handed in, and led out, again flirted with cabinet ministers and danced with ambassadors, and at two o'clock in the morning drove home from the scene of gaiety to our old residence in Budge Row.--Never in this world did pickled herrings and turpentine smell so powerfully as on that night when we entered the house; and although my wife and the young ones stuck to the drinkables at Guildhall, their natural feelings would have way, and a sort of shuddering disgust seemed to fill their minds on their return home--the passage looked so narrow--the drawing-rooms looked so small--the staircase seemed so dark--our apartments appeared so low--however, being tired, we all slept well, at least I did, for I was in no humour to talk to Sally, and the only topic I could think upon before I dropped into my slumber, was a calculation of the amount of expense which I had incurred during the just expired year of my greatness.

In the morning we assembled at breakfast--a note lay on the table, addressed--"Mrs. Scropps, Budge Row." The girls, one after the other, took it up, read the superscription, and laid it down again. A visiter was announced--a neighbour and kind friend, a man of wealth and importance--what were his first words?--they were the first I had heard from a stranger since my job,--"How are you, Scropps, done up, eh?"

We secluded ourselves in a private house, where we did nothing but sigh and look at the sea. We had been totally spoiled for our proper sphere, and could not get into a better; the indifference of our inferiors mortified us, and the familiarity of our equals disgusted us--our potentiality was gone, and we were so much degraded that a puppy of a fellow had the impertinence to ask Jenny if she was going to one of the Old Ship balls. "Of course," said the coxcomb, "I don't mean the 'Almacks,' for they are uncommonly select."

SPIRIT OF THE PUBLIC JOURNALS

Did you ever look In Mr. Tooke, For Homer's gods and goddesses? The males in the air, So big and so bare, And the girls without their bodices.

There was Jupiter Zeus, Who play'd the deuce, A rampant blade and a tough one; But Denis bold, Stole his coat of gold, And rigg'd him out in a stuff one,

Great Mars, we're told, Was a grenadier bold, Who Vulcan sorely cuckold; When to Rome he went, He his children sent To a she-wolf to be suckled.

Diana, his sister, When nobody kiss'd her, Was a saint, Yet the vixen Scandal Made a terrible handle Of her friendship for Eudymion.

Full many a feat Did Hercules neat, The least our credit draws on; Jesting Momus, so sly, Said, "'Tis all my eye," And he call'd him Baron Munchausen.

Fair Bacchus's face Many signs did grace, Of his brewing trade He a mystery made, Like our Calverts and our Meuxes.

There was Mistress Venus, For virtue cared not a farden: There never was seen Such a drabbish quean In the parish of Covent Garden.

Hermes cunning Poor Argus funning, He made him drink like a buffer; To his great surprise Sew'd up all his eyes, And stole away his heifer.

A bar-maid's place Was Hebe's grace, Till Jupiter did trick her; He turn'd her away, And made Ganimede stay To pour him out his liquor.

Ceres in life Was a farmer's wife, But she doubtless kept a jolly house; For Rumour speaks, She was had by the Beaks To swear her son Triptolemus.

Miss Proserpine She thought herself fine, But when all her plans miscarried, She the Devil did wed, And took him to bed, Sooner than not be married.

But the worst of the gods, Beyond all odds, It cannot be denied, oh! Is that first of matchmakers, That prince of housebreakers, The urchin, Dan Cupido.

"I'll search out the haunts Of your fav'rite gallants, And into cows metamorphose 'em."

"THE SEASON" IN TOWN.

THE HOPKINSONIAN JOKE.

THE GATHERER.

A snapper up of unconsidered trifles. SHAKSPEARE.

SEALING WAX AND WAFERS.

SHERIDAN.

LINES

Death, reader, pallid death!! with woe or bliss Will shortly be thy lot. Think then, my friend, Ere yet it be too late--what are thy hopes And what thy anxious fears--when the thin veil That keeps thy soul from seeing Israel's GOD Shall drop. . RURIS.

When Lord Ellenborough was Lord Chief Justice, a labouring bricklayer was called as a witness; when he came up to be sworn his lordship said to him--

"Really, witness, when you have to appear before this court, it is your bounden duty to be more clean and decent in your appearance."

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