Read Ebook: A Minniature ov Inglish Orthoggraphy by Elphinston James

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Ebook has 24 lines and 10171 words, and 1 pages

Hwen evvery oddher language, and at last our own, haz been reduced to' science; rendered accountabel to' natives, and accessibel to' straingers; hwence iz it, dhat our practice, growing daily more a contrast dhan an exemplificacion ov our theory, tempts ignorance to' speak, az blind habbit spels; raddher dhan to' dream ov spelling, az propriety exhibbits her unremitted harmony, hweddher in word or writing? For propriety, hwarevver herd, can be seen onely in her picture: nor can dhis be duly drawn, but from dhe oridginal; or dhe likenes long prezerved, in dhe coppies ov vulgarrity.

Scarce creddibel doz it seem, to' dhe anallogists ov oddher diccions, dhat hiddherto', in Inglish exhibiscion, evvery vowel and evvery consonant ar almoast az often falsifiers az immages ov dhe truith. Hetteroggraphy indeed, or false litterary picture, can arize onely from won, or a combinacion, ov foar cauzes: redundance, defiscience; mischoice, or misarraingement.

Az vocallity must often depend on articulacion; consonants, like vowels, must nedher be too manny, too few, nor oddher dhan dhemselvs. If sounds open must not seem shut, sounds shut must not appear open. No servile can attend a shut vowel; hwich, on dhe contrary, must show dhe consonant dhat shuts it. Hwen a consonant concludes dhe syllabel, after an open vowel; a servile must gard dhe vowel from dhe consonant, hwich else wood shut it. A shut vowel dhen must show dhe shutter, or be left apparently open.

So hear we, and so see we,

To' keep Inglish, dhus like French and Lattin, or spelling dhe contrast ov speech; our litterature haz hiddherto' no likenes ov our language; and haz continnued inaccessibel to' evvery native, az much az to' evvery strainger. For, hwile we lernedly lov to' see

Aloe, melon, lily, solemn, carol, very, spirit, coral, borough, manor, tenant, minute, honor, punish, clamor, blemish, limit, comet, pumice, chapel, leper, triple, copy, habit, rebel, tribute, probate, heifer, profit, cavil, revel, drivel, novel, hovel, city, pity, british, critic, madam, credit, idiom, body, study, tacit, licit, hazard, ezad, lizard, closet, bosom, vicar, liquor, liquid, rigor, rigid:

We shrewdly hope to' hear,

Alloe, mellon, lilly, sollemn, carrol, verry, spirrit, corral, burrow, mannor, tennant, minnute, onnor, punnish, clammor, blemmish, limmit, commet, pummice, chappel, lepper, trippel, coppy, habbit, rebbel, tribbute, probbate, heffer, proffit, cavvil, revvel, drivvel, novvel, hovvel, citty, pitty, brittish, crittic, maddam, creddit, iddiom, boddy, studdy, tascit, liscit, hazzard, ezzad, lizzard, clozzet, buzzom, viccar, liccor, licquid, riggor, ridgid.

DHE END.

THE ORTHOGRAPHIC RIDDLE.

PREFACE

These emanations of the British Muse, Where English thoughts could English dress refuse, Were once presented to another press, Though thence borne back, as hopeless of success. What honest critic e'er could credit eligible, Riddles to his researches unintelligible? When ready caution guards the lit'rate realm, Never shall foreign floods these isles o'erwhelm: Orthography the mother-tongue shall give, Ever, as every where, with Truth to live; Truth, Reason, Beauty shall o'erspread the nation; Shall solve the RIDDLE, with one contemplation.

The public monitor of truth, Sworn enemy to what's uncouth, With blockheads similarly spells, That thus the force of ridicule Should laugh the learned back to school. What then should cause that laughter strange? What should occasion gen'ral change?

Orthography the answer gives, To satisfy whoever lives. The honest will confess the pity, Court, country, citadel with city; That ancients, with the giddy young, Should study still the Latin tongue; Should leave to levity, to dolour, The unproficient English scholar; Should give the very stranger dread, Of gibberish, that ne'er was read; That ne'er was heard, without derision, Eschewing ocular revision.

This one example well will prove, Will lib'ral laughter doubtless move: When Pedantry shall cease to swell, Honour'd Humility will spell. The beauty then, of British truth, Resistless shall enamour youth; Shall evidence th' asseveration, Throughout th' etymologic nation; That one poetic exhibition Could, without lit'ral intuition, Fill ev'ry literary article, Though never spell one single particle: Could faithfully the whole present, Without once shad'wing what were meant.

DHE SOLUCION OV DHE ORTHOGRAPPHIC RIDDEL.

PREFFACE.

Dheze emmanacions ov dhe Brittish Muze, Hware Inglish thaughts cood Inglish dres refuze, Wer wonce prezented to' anoddher pres, Dho dhence bor'n bac az hopeles ov succes. Hwat onnest crittic ehr cood creddit elligibel, Riddels to' hiz reserches unintelligibel? Hwen steddy caucion gards dhe litt'rate relm, Nevver shal forrain fluds dheze iles o'rhwelm: Orthoggraphy dhe moddher-tung shal guiv, Evver, az evv'rihware, widh Truith to' liv; Truith, Rezon, Buty shal o'rspred dhe nacion; Shal solv dhe RIDDEL, widh won contemplacion.

Dhe pubblic monnitor ov truith, Swor'n ennemy to' hwat'z uncooth, Widh blockheds simmilarly spels, Dhat dhus dhe foarce ov riddicule Shood laf dhe lerned bac to' scool. Hwat dhen shood cauz dhat lafter strainge? Hwat shood occazion genn'ral chainge?

Orthoggraphy dhe anser guivs, To' sattisfy hooevver livs. Dhe onnest wil confes dhe pitty, Coart, contry, cittadel widh citty; Dhat aincients, widh dhe guiddy yong, Shood studdy stil dhe Lattin tung; Shood leve to' levvity, to' dollor, Dhe unprofiscient Inglish scollar; Shood guiv dhe verry strainger dred, Ov guibberish, dhat nehr waz red; Dhat nehr waz herd widhout derizzion, Eskewing occular revizzion.

Dhis won exampel wel wil proov, Wil libb'ral lafter doutles moov: Hwen Peddantry shal cese to' swel, Onnor'd Humillity wil spel. Dhe buty dhen, ov Brittish truith, Rezistles shal enammor yooth; Shal evvidence dh' assevveracion, Thro'out dh' etymmolodgic nacion; Dhat won poettic exhibiscion Cood, widhout litt'ral intuiscion, Fil evv'ry litterary artikel, Dho nevver spel won singuel partikel: Cood faithfoolly dhe hoal prezent, Widhout wonce shadd'wing hwat wer ment.

NOTES

Without one particle, representing what is read.

Widhout won partikel, repprezenting hwat iz red.

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