Read Ebook: A story of the sawdust: The pathetic history of Old Props' darling by Anonymous

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Ebook has 54 lines and 3516 words, and 2 pages

d hard to prove the contrary, as the church register which contained the entry of my name was burned in the year 1845.

His Tale of Woe.

The little boy was crying and his tears touched the heart of the charitably inclined lady; he was so small and seemed to be in such distress.

"Don't cry, little boy," she said, soothingly. "Dry your eyes and tell me what the trouble is. Did some of the big boys hurt you?"

"No'm," replied the waif, still sobbing.

"Are you sick or hungry?" she persisted.

"No'm."

"Did your father beat you for something?"

"No'm, but he will."

"Oh, that's the trouble, is it?"

"Yes'm."

"Well, it's a shame," she exclaimed, angrily. "Why will he beat you?"

"'Cause I lost ten cents."

"Did he send you to buy something with it?"

"Yes'm."

"And you lost it on the way?"

"Yes'm."

"Oh, well, I guess we can fix that," she said in her kindly way, as she took a dime from her purse and handed it to the boy. "Now he won't beat you, will he?"

"No'm."

"What did he send you to buy with it?"

"Beer."

"Beer!" The good lady gasped at the thought.

"Yes'm."

"And how did you lose it?"

"Matchin' pennies."

Before she had sufficiently recovered to demand the return of her dime the boy was gone.

He Knew the Place.

The man with his coat collar turned up and his hat pulled down over his eyes, who was slouching alone in the shadow of the buildings, suddenly beckoned to the man on the other side of the street.

"Here's a graft, Bill," he said when the other had crossed over.

"Wot is?" asked Bill, gruffly.

"This here house," replied the first speaker. "It's just like finding things all fixed for you. Some bloomin' idiot has gone away and left his latchkey in the door."

Bill took a long look at the house and then shook his head.

"You kin have it," he said. "I don't want nuthin' to do with the game."

"Wot's the matter?"

"The feller wot lives here ain't to be trusted. He's a low-down, mean, tricky cuss. He ain't got no feelin's at all."

"D'ye know him?"

"No; but I was here onct before, an' I'm onto his game. He left the key just like that before, an' I thought it was dead easy. I went up and tried to turn it, an' I thought I was bein' electrocuted sure."

Johnny's Apt Illustration.

Teacher --What are the properties of heat, Willie?

Teacher--Stop--next. What are the properties of heat?

Johnny--The properties of heat is that it expands bodies, while cold contracts them.

Teacher--Very good. Can you give me an example?

Johnny--Yes, sir. In summer, when it is very hot, the day is long; in winter, when it is cold, it gets to be very short.

Easy Enough.

Tramp--Yes'm, it's hard to break away from all yer bad habits at once; but I've given up some of 'em.

Lady--Which ones have you given up?

Tramp--Well, mum, I don't get shaved on Sunday any more.

A Tempting Offer.

We will give either a .00 gold ring or a dozen silver spoons to any person who sells a dollar's worth of our standard goods. They are needed in every household and we will send you the outfit when you send us your name and address. After you have sold the goods, send us the dollar and receive your gift. This is an honest offer for honest people only. Address REX COMPANY, 1111 Arch St., PHILADELPHIA, PA.

Superfluous Hair.

Ladies who have superfluous hair will be happy to know that I have a quick and sure remedy; doesn't leave the slightest trace, nor injure the skin. I will send a .00 bottle Free to a few ladies in each locality. Write to Mrs. J. DE VERE, P. O. Box 494, Philadelphia, Pa.

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