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Read Ebook: Bird in hand by Housman Laurence
Font size: Background color: Text color: Add to tbrJar First Page Next Page Prev PageEbook has 203 lines and 7253 words, and 5 pagesBIRD-IN-HAND. Peet-a-pipe!--Pick-a-peck--Pick-a-peppa-kum!--E-peet-a-pipe--a pick-a-pick--a-pick-a-pepp a-kum. Wees-a-peck, a pick-a-peppa-kum. Peet-a-pipe-a-pick! BIRD-IN-HAND. Chich-a-wee! Chich-a-wee!--Tweet, tweet! Wee-wee-wee! Chick-a-wake!--Oh, why?--Tickle 'em up! Too-to-weet! Too-to-weet!--Eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat! Quick, quick! Josophat! Josophat! Whit-a-woo?--Drink-and-eat! Tr-r-r-r-r-r-r-r! BIRD-IN-HAND. Tr-r-r-r-r-r-r-r! BIRD-IN-HAND. Cheer-up! Cheer-up! Cheer-up!--Oh, why? PROFESSOR. Stop it! Stop it, I say! BIRD-IN-HAND. Wee-wee! wee-wee-wee! PROFESSOR. Miss Tuckey, are you there! Miss Tuckey! BIRD-IN-HAND. Tuckey, tuckey, tuckey--Tuck!--tuck!--tuck! PROFESSOR. Would you come up, please, for one moment! BIRD-IN-HAND. Sh--sh--wee! PROFESSOR. Now I shall know whether I am mad or not. Yes, I shall know!-- I--I--I want you to see that those proofs go, Miss Tuckey--by the first post. MISS TUCKEY. Yes, sir-- Did you want anything else, sir? PROFESSOR. Oh, well, and if you would kindly rearrange that screen? I still feel rather a draught. MISS TUCKEY. Will that be as you wish? PROFESSOR. Thank you. MISS TUCKEY. Is that all, sir? PROFESSOR. Yes, that is all. But this is horrible! I saw it! Oh! if I didn't see it, I'm going mad! BIRD-IN-HAND. Peweet, peweet! Chus-luk-a-mee! Chus-luk-a-mee! PROFESSOR. Ah! Now then! Now! BIRD-IN-HAND. Pick-it-up! Pick-it-up! PROFESSOR. No--no, I mustn't do that: it's no good. I must think! BIRD-IN-HAND. Think--think--think--think--think! BIRD-IN-HAND. Do it!--do it!--do it! BIRD-IN-HAND. Chich-a-wee! Che-wee! Che-wee--Che-wee--Che-wee, Che-wee--Che-wee! PROFESSOR. Hallucination, you are a perfect nuisance! BIRD-IN-HAND. Che-wee-wee? PROFESSOR. Why can't you let things alone? PROFESSOR. Oh, yes. Will you ask him to wait one moment? Nothing, nothing there, at all! Ask Dr. Locum to come up. DOCTOR. How are you, Professor? Nothing very serious, I hope-- PROFESSOR. Doctor, I--I want you to examine me, before I--before I say anything. DOCTOR. Examine you?--in what way? PROFESSOR. Just find out my symptoms--my state of health, generally. DOCTOR. Well, Professor, let's see the tongue! Then I'll take your temperature--Sleep well? PROFESSOR. Much as usual. DOCTOR. Appetite good? PROFESSOR. Yes--fairly. DOCTOR. Hours? Have you been keeping late hours? PROFESSOR. M--m! DOCTOR. Everything quite regular--as usual? PROFESSOR. M--m PROFESSOR. M--m! DOCTOR. Ah! but you shouldn't do that! you must take more care of yourself. Your heart isn't what it was. Mustn't expect it at your age. Now then, let's see! DOCTOR. Well you know, there's not much wrong. Temperature about normal. PROFESSOR. Doctor, a most extraordinary thing has just happened. I must tell you about it. DOCTOR. H'm--h'm? PROFESSOR. I was sitting here at my work--I was writing--there! as you see. Does that in any way look agitated? DOCTOR. I should not say so. PROFESSOR. Does it make any sense? DOCTOR. "When all the objective data presented to sense-receptivity are compared, and the differentiations of their varying incentives and reactions properly allowed for--" Well, I should say so--not that I altogether understand it. PROFESSOR. No, but it is constructive?--Would you say the man who wrote that was out of his senses? DOCTOR. Most certainly not! Add to tbrJar First Page Next Page Prev Page |
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