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Read Ebook: Stepping stones to manhood by Pearce William Peter

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LIST OF THOSE WHO HAVE WRITTEN INTRODUCTIONS TO CHAPTERS.

CHAPTER.

PREFACE.

Boyhood is one of the happiest periods of life. "Ye little know," said Robert Burns, "the ill ye court when manhood is your wish." Taking a look backward Lord Byron cried, "Ah, happy years once more, who would not be a boy?" Thomas Moore says, in his beautiful poem: "Oft in the Stilly Night:"

"There is no boy so poor," said Phillips Brooks, "so ignorant, so outcast, that I do not stand in awe before him." "I feel a profounder reverence for a boy than a man," said President Garfield. "I never meet a ragged boy on the street without feeling that I owe him a salute, for I know not what possibilities may be buttoned up under his coat." "Why, bless me! Is that the boy who did so gallantly in those two battles?" asked President Lincoln as a lad from the gunboat Ottawa was introduced to him. "Why, I feel as though I should take off my hat to him, and not he to me."

"Get out of my way! What are you good for anyhow?" asked a cross man to a lad who happened to be standing in his way. The boy replied, "They make men out of such things as I am." How true. That dirty boy taken by a philanthropist in New Orleans, only for the reason that he was an orphan, became Sir Henry M. Stanley, who found Livingstone and opened Africa. About fifty years ago, when New York City sought to aid her homeless children, an agent called on Judge John Green, of Tixston, Indiana, to inquire if he would take a boy. Mr. Green said, "I will, if you will bring me the raggedest, dirtiest and ugliest one of the lot." A boy by the name of John Brady more than filled the bill. He was accepted, educated and became a missionary to Alaska. So suitable a man was he for commissioner of that unexplored land of wealth, that President Harrison appointed him governor.

Who can value the worth of a boy? Like Moses, Luther, or Lincoln, he might rise to bless a nation. Boyhood is the blossom that ripens into manhood. It is the formative period of one's character. Said Lord Collingwood to a young friend, "You must establish a character before you are twenty-five that will serve you all life." The building of such is the greatest earthly task, and he is the greatest man "who chooses right with the most invincible resolution, who resists the sorest temptation from within and without, who is most fearless under menaces and frowns, whose reliance on truth, on virtue, and on God, is most unfaltering."

To aid in the growth of such is this work written. It is hoped that it will be transformed into an epitome, a registry of the reader's own life--a compilation and condensation of the best things he shall finally leave to those who survive him. For it should

Incorporated herein are the best things of many books; the thoughts of noble men which by the power of a just appreciation and of a retentive memory may be made one's own. Of those who have written introductions to this work, some have since retired from their official positions, and some are dead. The stories gathered from many sources illustrate great principles, which, if carefully heeded will conduce to a happy and manly life; for

Success Maxims

PART I Relation to Self

BY ROBERT J. BURDETTE

You can make yourself look an inch taller by neat, well-fitting dress. You can actually make yourself taller by an erect, manly carriage. Slovenliness is contagious. It communicates itself from the dress to the character. The boy who slouches and slumps in figure and gait, is dangerously apt to slump morally. The dust and grime on your clothes is liable to get into your brain. The dirt under your finger-nails is likely to work into your thoughts. Grease spots down the front of your coat will destroy self-respect almost as quickly as a habit of lying. Tidiness is one of the cheapest luxuries in the world. It is also one of the most comfortable. When you know, when you are "dead sure" that you are just right--"perfectly correct"--from hat to shoe-tie, the King of England couldn't stare you out of countenance; he couldn't embarrass you, and, he wouldn't if he could.

A high column was to be built. The workmen were engaged, and all went to work with a will. In laying a corner, one brick was set a trifle out of line. This was unnoticed, and as each course of bricks was kept in line with those already laid, the tower was not built exactly erect. After being carried up about fifty feet, there was a tremendous crash. The building had fallen, burying the men in the ruins. All the previous work was now lost, the material wasted, and several valuable lives sacrificed, all through the misplacement of one brick at the start. The workman at fault little thought what mischief he was making for the future. It is so with the boy, building character. He must be careful in laying the foundation. Just so far as he governs, guards and trains himself, just so far will he succeed or fail in the estimation of others. Tennyson wisely wrote:

AMERICAN BOYS.

Never in the history of any people did boys have so much in their favor to assist them in reaching the pinnacle of success as American boys. Back of them is an ancestry of the best blood of the leading nations of the world, an ancestry noted for persistence, reverence, piety and patriotism.

The educational institutions of the land have "turned out" thousands of young men who have beaten their pathway upward in spite of adverse circumstances, all of which seems to say to the boy to-day, "There's room at the top in whatever profession you may follow." A good beginning is the most necessary thing, for "it is half the battle." In any race a man can well afford to miss applause at the starting-line, if he gets it at the goal. A slow but determined start is not incompatible with a swift conclusion. Experienced mountain-climbers seem almost lazy, so calmly do they put one foot in front of the other; but they stand well-breathed on the summit, while their comrades are panting at the halfway station. One must not swerve to the right or left, but, setting his face toward duty, like Marcus Curtius who rode to death in the Roman Forum, he must push forward, with an honest ambition to reach the goal of success. It is not always the boy of aristocratic birth, wealthy parentage or social standing that wins the world's laurels, but usually those boys who are unfortunately situated, who hew their way in the world instead of having it laid out and smoothed for them.

One of our Presidents, when asked what was his coat-of-arms, remembering that he had been a chopper of wood in his youth, replied, "A pair of shirt-sleeves." Lord Tenterden was proud to point out to his son the shop in which his father had shaved for a penny. A French doctor once taunted Flechier, bishop of Nimes, who had been a tallow-chandler in his youth, with the meanness of his origin, to which Flechier replied, "If you had been born in the same condition that I was, you would still have been a maker of candles."

Where is the boy with nobility of soul and purpose, who, though poor, is not tidy; who, being of humble origin, is not industrious; who, ridiculed by others, is not kind; and who, cramped by circumstances, is not heroic? That boy will rise to honor and fill an important place in life. He, like other boys of this country, may be a star rather than a flashing meteor in the realm of society.

ASPIRING BOYS.

From a farm to the Presidential chair seems a long distance, but Abraham Lincoln traveled it, and left behind him a name and reputation never to die. Andrew Johnson began life as a tailor and subsequently rose to be the chief officer of the nation. George Peabody was an apprentice in a country store, and ended as a millionaire philanthropist. Cyrus W. Field was in early life a clerk, but the world is indebted to him for the successful completion of the Atlantic cable. Samuel F. B. Morse, from an artist, became the inventor of the electric telegraph. Charles Dickens, the great novelist, began life as a newspaper reporter. Levi P. Morton was a clerk, John Wanamaker a messenger-boy, Lyman J. Gage a night-watchman and James Whitcomb Riley a wandering sign-painter. The record, instead of being in the tens, could be increased to thousands of statesmen, governors, generals, business and professional men who have risen from the farm, the shop, the store, to important offices within the nation's gift. There is no reason why a boy cannot make his way in the world. He may not be President, or banker, or lawyer, but he can fill an honorable position. He may be a master mechanic, a model business man, a useful educator, if he is willing to begin at the lowest round in the ladder, namely, neatness.

Boys are men of a smaller growth, and if they fail to cultivate self-respect, it means the blighting of manhood, the ostracism of society, and the closing of the gate of opportunities to success. Self-respect is a robe with which every boy should clothe himself. It lies at the root of all virtues. It begets a stability of character, is the sentinel of the soul as the eyelid of the eye, and the corner-stone of all virtues.

NEATNESS SHOWS ITSELF BY CLEANLINESS.

There is no need in this day and country for a boy to go around with dirty face and hands. It is injurious to health, unbecoming and repulsive to any self-respecting person. On the other hand from

When Isaac Hopper, the Quaker, met a boy with dirty face or hands, he would stop him, and inquire if he ever studied chemistry. The boy, with a wondering stare, would answer, "No." "Well then, I will teach thee how to perform a curious chemical experiment. Go home, take a piece of soap, put it in water, and rub briskly on thy hands and face. Thou hast no idea what a beautiful froth it will make, and how much whiter thy skin will be. That's a chemical experiment; I advise thee to try it." There is great virtue in soap and water vigorously applied, which doubtless gave rise to the old adage, "Cleanliness is next to godliness," for virtue never dwells long with filth. An eminent man said, "I believe there never was a person scrupulously attentive to cleanliness who was a consummate villain."

The singing birds are remarkable for the neatness and cleanliness of their plumage. The gay and cheerful animals of the fields avoid filth, and are usually of a clean appearance. The beauty and fragrance of the flowers owe all to this characteristic, and so also does the boy who is bright, intelligent, moral and ambitious. You will not find his finger nails long, but carefully trimmed and devoid of dirt, his ears and neck will be spotless, and his teeth clean and white like "drops of snow in banks of pretty pink roses."

NEATNESS IN DRESS.

Self-respect will also show itself in neatness of dress. "It has," says Barrington, "a moral effect upon the conduct of mankind. Let any gentleman find himself with dirty boots, soiled neck-cloth, and a general negligence of dress, he will, in all probability, find a corresponding disposition by negligence of address." To be tidy does not mean to have costly attire. It is no mark of neatness for a boy to deck his fingers with rings, to sport a gold-headed cane, to wear flashy neck-wear, to have a bouquet of flowers on the lapel of his coat, for while these are not unbecoming in themselves, they give the impression of that sin which overthrew the angels, pride.

Dean Swift was an enemy of extravagance in dress, and particularly of that destructive ostentation in the middle classes, which led them to make an appearance above their condition in life. Of his mode of reproving this folly in those persons for whom he had an esteem, the following instance has been recorded:

When George Faulkner, the printer, returned from London, where he had been soliciting subscriptions for his edition of the Dean's works, he went to pay his respects to him, dressed in a lace waistcoat, a big wig and other fopperies. Swift received him with the same ceremonies as if he had been a stranger. "And pray, sir," said he, "what can be your commands with me?" "I thought it was my duty, sir," replied George, "to wait on you immediately on my arrival from London." "Pray, sir, who are you?" "George Faulkner, the printer, sir." "You, George the printer! why, you are the most impudent barefaced scoundrel of an impostor I have ever met! George Faulkner is a plain sober citizen, and would never trick himself out in lace and other fopperies. Get you gone, you rascal, I will immediately send you to the house of correction." Away went George as fast as he could, and having changed his dress he returned to the deanery, where he was received with the greatest cordiality. "My friend George," said the Dean, "I am glad to see you returned safe from London. Why, there has been an impudent fellow just with me dressed in lace waistcoat, and he would fain pass himself off for you, but I soon sent him away with a flea in his ear."

Dress is certainly an index to the mind. It shows the spirit and internal quality of the soul, and "there cannot be a more evident gross manifestation of a poor, degenerate breeding, than a rude, unpolished, disordered and slovenly outside." The boy that does not polish his shoes, comb his hair, brush his clothes, is in all probability morally affected. To consider such things matters of small importance is a grave mistake, for they often prove to be hinges on which the doors of opportunity swing.

THE BOY'S RECOMMENDATION.

Said a friend to a business man on coming into the office, "I should like to know on what ground you selected that boy, who had not a single recommendation." "You are mistaken," said the gentleman, "he had a great many. He wiped his feet when he came in and closed the door after him, showing that he was careful; he gave his seat instantly to that lame old man, showing that he was thoughtful; he took off his cap when he came in, and answered my questions promptly, showing that he was gentlemanly; he waited quietly for his turn, instead of pushing and crowding, showing that he was honorable and orderly. When I talked to him I noticed that his clothes were brushed, his hair in order, and when he wrote his name, I noticed that his finger-nails were clean. Don't you call those things letters of recommendation? I do, and I would give more for what I can tell about a boy by using my eyes ten minutes than all the letters he can bring me."

Be neat and clean in appearance, and not less so in habit. At home never throw your hat in one chair and your coat in another. Have a place for everything and put everything in its place. In school or at work let the same principle govern you, for "what is worth doing is worth doing well." The boys now wanted are

BY ADOLPH SUTRO.

Character makes the man; character and politeness mark the perfect man. The first is the diamond in the rough; the second the cut stone. The former may attract the attention of a few, the latter discloses hidden beauties and compels the admiration of all.

The "grand old name of gentleman" can only belong to him who unites the qualities of gentleness and manliness, and politeness is essentially gentleness.

The exercise of politeness benefits all, chiefly him who practises it, and this is a sure road to success.

William of Wickham, Bishop of Winchester, and founder of Winchester and of New College, Oxford, was so convinced of the value of manners that he had the phrase "Manners Make a Man," inscribed in several places upon the walls of those structures. "Good manners," said Emerson, "are made up of petty sacrifices." Pleasant expression and action, pleasing exterior and true kindness are gentle delights which win the esteem of others and often contribute to one's advancement more than real merit. Coarseness and gruffness, loose habits and "don't-care" manners, never fail to lock doors and close hearts. "You had better," wrote Chesterfield to his son, "return a dropped fan genteelly, than give a thousand pounds awkwardly; better refuse a favor gracefully than grant it clumsily. All your Greek can never advance you from secretary to envoy, or from envoy to ambassador; but your address, your air, your manners, if good, may." These will give, as Emerson says, "The mastery of palaces and fortunes wherever one goes without the trouble of earning or owning them."

Cultivation of politeness is like putting the finishing touch upon the picture, it sets one off to the best advantage. Like a flower bed encircling the lawn, it beautifies character. Like a lamp in a dark room, it makes one's presence cheerful. Nothing has greater influence, and as Matthew Arnold said, "It is three-fourths of life." As honey on the skin is a protection from the sting of the bee, so politeness will be a safeguard from the stings of the world. Doors will open at its knock. Sunbeams will sparkle in its presence, and everywhere, with everyone, it will act as a magic passport.

DEFINITION OF POLITENESS.

Politeness has been defined in various ways, but all meet at the same point, like the spokes of a wheel which center in the hub. "It is the art of showing, by external signs, the internal regard we have for others." "It is," said Lord Chatham, "benevolence in little things," as the giving others the preference in every enjoyment at the table, walking, sitting or standing. "It is a willingness to please and to be pleased." "It consists in treating others just as you love to be treated yourself." Henry IV, King of France, was once taken to task for returning the salute of a poor man as he was passing through a village. He replied, "Would you have your king exceeded in politeness by one of his meanest subjects?" Because Nicholas I, Czar of Russia, saw an officer of his household treat an old beggar woman discourteously, he summoned him to his imperial presence. The official was quite pleased. Nicholas soon undeceived him, and in the presence of a dozen courtiers cut him to the quick with his indignant reproof. "Enough!" he said, finally, "you will walk up and down that corridor all night, and every time you turn you will say, in a loud voice, 'I am a puppy! I am a puppy!'"

"I treat him as well as he treats me," said a boy to his mother. She had just reproved him because he did not attempt to amuse or entertain a boy friend who had gone home. "I often go in there and he doesn't notice me," said the boy. "Do you enjoy that?" asked the mother. "O! I don't mind, I don't stay long," was the reply. "I should call myself a very selfish person," remarked the mother, "if friends came to see me and I should pay no more attention to them." "Well, that's different, you're grown up," answered the son. "Indeed!" replied the mother, "then you really think that politeness and courtesy are not needed among boys?" The boy thus pressed, said he didn't mean exactly that. His father, having overheard the conversation, turned to him and said: "A boy or a man who measures his treatment of others by their treatment of him, has no character of his own. He will never be kind or generous. If he is ever to be a gentleman, he will be so in spite of the boorishness of others. If he is to be noble, no other boy's meanness will change his nature. Remember this, my son, you lower yourself every time you are guilty of an unworthy action because someone else is. Be true to your best self, and no boy can drag you down, nor will he want to."

Years ago, when Queen Victoria began her reign, the famous Lord John Russell was the minister in attendance upon her majesty at her Scottish home. There came late one evening a messenger--a little old man buried in a greatcoat--to the Aboyne telegraph office, and delivered to the clerk a message from Lord John Russell to one of the officials of the government in London. The message did not bear a signature. On seeing this, the ill-mannered clerk flung it back to the old man, and said, "Put your name to it; it's a pity your master doesn't know how to send a telegram." The name was added and the message handed back. "Why, you can't write either," cried the enraged clerk, after vainly trying to make out the signature; "here, let me do it for you. What's your name?" "My name," said the little old man, very deliberately, "is John Russell." Through his impoliteness that clerk lost his position.

POLITENESS A BADGE OF TRUE GENTILITY.

In some European countries the word gentleman stands for a titled or wealthy man. When Sir Lawrence Alma-Tadema was knighted a lady expressed herself to his lordship thus: "O, dear Sir Lawrence, I am awfully glad to hear of the honor you have received; I suppose now that you have been knighted you'll give up painting pictures and live like a gentleman." Many are they who have this idea of gentlemanship. But in our land the real gentleman stands for such personal qualities as honesty, truthfulness, gentleness and gracefulness which characterize a boy or man. Such a gentleman subjects his appetite, refines his taste, subdues his feelings and controls his speech. When accidentally running against or passing before another, it will be, "I beg your pardon." "Please excuse me." When receiving a gift or extending a favor, it will be, "I thank you."

A number of years ago a company of workmen was standing before a store in Oxford street, London, looking at some pictures. The Honorable William E. Gladstone, who was then at the height of his popularity, halted a moment to look at the artist's work. One of the workmen recognized him and stepping up, said, "Excuse me, Mr. Gladstone, but I should like to shake hands with you." "Why, of course, I shall be glad to do so," the Premier of England responded, as he extended his hand not only to the man who had accosted him but also to the little group of men who stood near, taking no notice of soiled hands or garments. Then he directed their attention to a fine engraving in the window, quietly pointing out not only its beauty, but some special feature in its execution that constituted its charm. Then raising his hat with a smile he bade the men "Good morning," and passed on his way up the street. No wonder that in later years his fellow-countrymen called him "The Grand Old Man," "The People's William." He was a gentleman, exhibiting a lovely spirit of true friendship and absolute equality.

POLITENESS SHOULD BE FIRST PRACTISED AT HOME.

What one is in the home is a fair criterion as to what he will be away from home. The manner in which a person conducts himself in the home determines largely his course and conduct in life. He who is polite and kind to his parents, considering their wishes, and heeding their advice and counsel, paves the way to future happiness and success. But he who spurns paternal suggestions, speaks and acts disrespectfully, is seldom respected and is always at a disadvantage. When Prince Bismarck was a boy, he was rebuked by his father for speaking of the King as Fritz. "Learn to speak reverently of his Majesty," said the old squire of Varzin, "and you will grow accustomed to think of him with veneration." Bismarck laid the advice to heart and from that day profited by it.

The truly polite boy is not only respectful to his parents but also to his sisters and brothers, always returning a pleasant "Thank you" for any kindness received at their hands, and showing as much courtesy to all at home as to those in the home of a neighbor. "A beautiful form," says an American essayist, "is better than a beautiful face, and a beautiful behavior is better than a beautiful form; it gives a higher pleasure than statues or pictures; it is the finest of the fine arts," it gives grace to one's bearing and enables one to look on the bright and beautiful side of things.

POLITENESS SHOULD BE ACCORDED ALL.

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