: The Ladies' Vase; Or Polite Manual for Young Ladies by American Lady - Young women Conduct of life; Etiquette for women

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POLITENESS, 7 TRUE AND FALSE POLITENESS, 9 IMPORTANCE OF GOOD MANNERS, 13 SELF-POSSESSION, 16 GOOD COMPANY, 19 FRIENDSHIP, 21 KINDRED HEARTS, 28 CONVERSATION, 30 EXAGGERATION, 34 EGOTISM, 37 GENTLENESS, 44 SISTERLY VIRTUES, 46 HOME, 49 FIRESIDE INFLUENCE, 51 { THE TEETH, 54 PERSONAL APPEARANCE, { THE HAIR, 57 { THE HANDS, 59 DRESS, 61 COMPRESSION OF THE LUNGS, 64 LETTER-WRITING, 68 MUSIC, 71 FLOWERS, 73 TIME, 76 NOVEL-READING, 85 FEMALE ROMANCE, 89 BEHAVIOR TO GENTLEMEN, 95 MARRIAGE, 101 MARRIAGE HYMN, 104 FEMALE INFLUENCE, 105 A DIFFICULT QUESTION, 109 EASILY DECIDED, 121 INFLUENCE OF CHRISTIANITY ON WOMAN, 132 IMPORTANCE OF RELIGION TO WOMAN, 137

LADIES' VASE.

POLITENESS.

Politeness, like every thing else in one's character and conduct, should be based on Christian principle. "Honor all men," says the apostle. This is the spring of good manners; it strikes at the very root of selfishness: it is the principle by which we render to all ranks and ages their due. A respect for your fellow-beings--a reverence for them as God's creatures and our brethren--will inspire that delicate regard for their rights and feelings, of which good manners is the sign.

If you have truth--not the truth of policy, but religious truth--your manners will be sincere. They will have earnestness, simplicity, and frankness--the best qualities of manners. They will be free from assumption, pretense, affectation, flattery, and obsequiousness, which are all incompatible with sincerity. If you have sincerity, you will choose to appear no other, nor better, than you are--to dwell in a true light.

We have often insisted, that the Bible contains the only rules necessary in the study of politeness. Or, in other words, that those who are the real disciples of Christ, cannot fail to be truly polite. Thus, let the young woman who would possess genuine politeness, take her lessons, not in the school of a hollow, heartless world, but in the school of Jesus Christ. I know this counsel may be despised by the gay and fashionable; but it will be much easier to despise it, than to prove it to be incorrect.

TRUE AND FALSE POLITENESS.

In mingling with our fellow-men, there is a constant necessity for little offices of mutual good will. An observing and generous-minded person notices what gives him offense, and what pleases him in the conduct of others; and he seeks at once to correct or cultivate similar things in himself. He acts upon the wise, Christian principle of doing to others as he would have them do to him. Hence, in dress and person, he is clean and neat; in speech, he is courteous; in behavior, conciliating; in the pursuit of his own interests, unobtrusive. No truly polite person appears to notice bodily defects or unavoidable imperfections in others; and, above all, he never sneers at religion, either in its doctrines, ordinances, or professors.

False politeness is but a clumsy imitation of all this. It is selfish in its object, and superficial in its character. It is a slave to certain forms of speech, certain methods of action, and certain fashions of dress. It is insincere; praising where it sees no merit, and excusing sin where it beholds no repentance. It is the offspring of selfishness; perverting the golden rule by flattering stupidity and winking at vice, with the hope of being treated in the same way by the community. It is a bed of flowers, growing over a sepulchre, and drawing its life from the loathsome putrefaction within.

Let the young polish their manners, not by attending to mere artificial rules, but by the cultivation of right feelings. Let them mingle with refined society as often as they can; and, by refined society, I do not mean those whom you find in the ball-room--in the theater--in the crowded party, or those--however wealthy, or richly dressed--you feel to be only artificially polite; but I mean those who make you feel at ease in their society, while, at the same time, they elevate your aims and polish your manners. What a good style is to noble sentiments, politeness is to virtue.

IMPORTANCE OF GOOD MANNERS.

There is something in the very constitution of human nature which inclines us to form a judgment of character from manners. It is always taken for granted, unless there is decisive evidence to the contrary, that the manners are the genuine expression of the feelings. And even where such evidence exists--that is, where we have every reason to believe that the external appearance does injustice to the moral dispositions; or, on the other hand, where the heart is too favorably represented by the manners--there is still a delusion practiced upon the mind, by what passes under the eye, which it is not easy to resist. You may take two individuals of precisely the same degree of intellectual and moral worth, and let the manners of the one be bland and attractive, and those of the other distant or awkward, and you will find that the former will pass through life with far more ease and comfort than the latter; for, though good manners will never effectually conceal a bad heart, and are, in no case, any atonement for it, yet, taken in connection with amiable and virtuous dispositions, they naturally and necessarily gain upon the respect and goodwill of mankind.

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