: The eternal quest by Gilbert Joseph Stevens Lawrence Sterne Illustrator - Science fiction; Short stories; Psychological fiction; Human-alien encounters Fiction; Interstellar travel Fiction

@FreeBooksThu 08 Jun, 2023

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"Who--" he began aloud, then shrugged and concentrated on thinking: "Who are you?"

"Speak aloud," came the thought. "It is easier for you, and makes your mental impulses clearer."

There is an individuality in thoughts, as well as in voices and faces. It occurred to Lawrence that the thought waves of this person were the clearest, the gentlest and the saddest of any he had ever encountered.

There was a clarity about them that was superhuman, that is associated with genius. And they were filled with a sorrow that transcended all human understanding. The sorrow of a dying race, of the shattered dreams of a billion years, the sorrow of the Wandering Jew alone on another planet and watching his own dissolve into cosmic dust--a sorrow beyond expression.

He found it dominating his soul, drowning him in a bitterness such as he had never dreamed possible.

Lawrence explained, "My instruments detected a steady stream of free gamma rays out in space, such as could only come from a ruptured atomic power source of some sort, and I flew down to ascertain if there had been an accident." He raised his voice a trifle over the wail of the desert wind. "Who are you?"

The brooding thought crept slowly into his mind, infinitely sad, infinitely weary.

"I am one who saw too far. It is no good for any being to go ahead of his fellows; to dream a greater dream and to find no reality in it. I had a machine, and it should have carried me outside, should have taken me above our lost visions to finer things. It did not. I thought I would climb to heaven. I descended to hell. How they have reversed our ancestors' prophecies, these metal masters of ours." His thoughts washed away in a tide of ultimate despair.

Lawrence's eyes were becoming accustomed to the darkness, and he could make out the hammock in the corner of the room with the small form upon it. "You're hurt!"

He came forward, his bewilderment becoming concern. "Here, I'm one of the few men who still know something of medicine. Space Patrol men have to know in case the machines break down. Which," he grimaced, "happens about once in every four hundred years."

The thought stopped Lawrence on the verge of tearing the threadbare cover off the figure on the cot and turning on his flash to examine it.

"Please," it came again, more gently, "I am dying. Believe me, there is nothing you or any other man or machine could do. And I do not care to live any more now; there is nothing to live for--now or for the rest of time."

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